No Doubt.

I was just recently the lucky recipient of 1 of the 500 vinyl copies issued of Manchester Orchestra's cover of No Doubt's 1996 release of the single, "Don't Speak", from their Tragic Kingdom album.  I was probably in the sixth grade when this single first came out. I was most likely wearing a turtleneck and a sweatshirt as I sang along to a song I could not, in the least bit, relate to.  I had never had a boyfriend (obviously...considering the whole turtleneck/sweatshirt combo).  I had never experienced a break up or any sort of heartache.  Back then, it was just a song.

You can imagine my excitement when I heard of Manchester releasing a cover of a song that would take me back to my middle school years.  I had to jump on it.  I wanted to go back to the turtleneck era.  Forget about divorce. Forget about exes.  Forget about heartache and remember the innocent days when I didn't know what Gwen Stephani meant by, "I really feel that I'm losing my best friend.  I can't believe this could be the end."  

I glazed over the song the first time after I got the vinyl in the mail.  It was good.  It didn't blow me away, but it was good enough to give it another listen.  This time around, the song took on a whole new meaning.  I've been so slack about blogging, among other things, these last few months but when I made this connection I had to write...

I am super stoked about the upcoming opportunity I have to serve the Lord through The World Race, but I've been really struggling with my relationship with Him lately.  Sin sends me running from Him. Embarrassed.  Guilty.  Ashamed.  I try to tell Him every excuse I can think of, with "too tired" at the top of the list of reasons to not spend time with Him.  When it comes down to it though, I just assume he doesn't want anything to do with me and my sin and I turn and bolt the other direction.  The last time I listened to my new prized vinyl, I heard it from a different perspective.  Jesus' perspective...

 Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

 
He knows what I am going to say before I say it and what I'm thinking before I think it.  He doesn't want my explanations.  He isn't mad that I'm choosing worldly things over him.  It hurts Him.  It hurts Him because he knows how much it hurts me.  

Thank God for grace. I want to live and love through that grace daily.  No matter how many excuses we give Him, He comes to us at the end of each day with grace and says, "So hush, hush, darling...hush, hush darling'".  I'm not sure how it ended for the couple this song was written about, but I know how it ends for me...with grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love.

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." ~Hebrews 4:16