Send Me. Support Them.

"Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me.  For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it."  Matthew 16: 24-25

I've spent decades using life as an excuse to not be a completely sold out follower of Jesus.  I've spent years being attached to things and to people.  I've lived my life to please others, doing what they expected and what they thought was best.  I have been riding a spiritual roller coaster.  My relationship with the Lord has ebbed and flowed depending on my circumstances, my relationships, and my emotions.  Over the last six months or so, a desire for missions has resurfaced.  So, I started my search for a mission trip that would fit neatly into my life, my career, my schedule, my plan.  None of the trips I researched seemed to jump out at me.  They all fell during summer break and required only three or four weeks.  I could go, and then come home and feel spiritually refreshed before beginning a new school year.  I was searching for convenience, forgetting that Jesus calls for sacrifice.  Jesus' command mentioned above in Matthew begs for more than just a few weeks of my time in the summer. 

After much prayer, research, and consideration I applied and was accepted to serve alongside approximately 50 other believers on a mission trip called The World Race.

This mission is organized through a Christian organization called Adventures in Missions.  Adventures in Missions is an interdenominational mission organization that focuses on discipleship.  Established in 1989, they have sent more than 100,000 people into the mission field.  The World Race will take me through Honduras, Nicaragua, and Costa Rica where I'll have opportunities for outreach to children, as well as serving the hungry.  The Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, and Nepal will bring opportunities to partner with already established organizations fighting human trafficking and sex tourism.  This experience will also take me through India, where I will be immersed in a culture rich with language, religion, and politics.  We will partner with organizations that reach out to those deemed "untouchable" because of religious persecution, forced prostitution, and poverty.  The last leg of the journey is through Africa.  With stops in Kenya, Uganda, and Rwanda, I will have the opportunity to develop communities, foster relationships with orphans, and continue to help build evangelism ministries that are already in the making.  Throughout the trip, we will live modestly; sleeping in tents, bathing in buckets, and longing for the sweet sound of a flushing toilet.  This trip is not about convenience.  It is about sacrifice.

The resounding question I continue to get after telling people about the mission is, "Why?” This is the most honest and uncensored response I can give…I have no idea what unconditional love is.  I have no idea how God loves us.  I have no idea how people love people that make stupid mistakes.  I have no idea how people love people through major conflict.  I think that is why I'm not nervous or anxious about leaving...because my desire to learn to love is so great that nothing seems more terrifying than living the rest of my life without knowing what that feels like.  I'm not going to find someone to love, but to gain a better understanding of what God's love looks and feels like.  I'm ready for my purpose to be serving the Lord...not making money, paying bills, finding a companion, starting a family, fixing a house, etc.  I'm ready to have no agenda but His.  I'm ready for Jesus to mess up my plans, to allow me to hurt, to change my perspective, and to show me everything that needs a big tweak in my heart.  I'm ready to be His and for nothing to be more important to me than Him being mine.  This mission requires me to lose my life, take up my cross, and follow Him.  It requires that I leave behind my family and friends, my job, my material things, my comfort, and my safety.  It requires that I trust that He has greater things in store for me. 

I hope that you will follow me throughout this amazing journey.  Please visit and subscribe to my World Race blog at http://ashleyminkel.theworldrace.org.  Your comments, encouragement, and love are welcomed and needed.  Please keep me, my team, and those we will have the chance to impact on the race in your prayers. 

This next phase of my life also requires me to swallow my pride and ask for help, something that has never been easy for me.  I need to raise $15,500 for travel, food, and housing for the entire year.  If you would like to partner with me financially, you can make a tax deductible donation by sending a check, made payable to Adventures In Missions, to Adventures In Missions, P.O. Box 534470, Atlanta, GA 30353-4470 with "Ashley Costley Minkel" clearly written in the memo line.  Also, please include the enclosed AIM Support Card with all the necessary information so that they may send you a receipt for your donation.  If you would prefer to make your donation online, you may do so by visiting my blog site at http://ashleyminkel.theworldrace.org. Click the “Support Me” link in the upper left side of the page and complete your donation as instructed.  Please be aware that there is a processing fee associated with online donations.

I am extremely grateful for this opportunity and I thank you in advance for your prayers and financial support.  May God bless you for sending me and supporting them, the least of these.  “The King will reply, ‘Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.’” Matthew 25:40

With humble appreciation,

Ashley Minkel

No Doubt.

I was just recently the lucky recipient of 1 of the 500 vinyl copies issued of Manchester Orchestra's cover of No Doubt's 1996 release of the single, "Don't Speak", from their Tragic Kingdom album.  I was probably in the sixth grade when this single first came out. I was most likely wearing a turtleneck and a sweatshirt as I sang along to a song I could not, in the least bit, relate to.  I had never had a boyfriend (obviously...considering the whole turtleneck/sweatshirt combo).  I had never experienced a break up or any sort of heartache.  Back then, it was just a song.

You can imagine my excitement when I heard of Manchester releasing a cover of a song that would take me back to my middle school years.  I had to jump on it.  I wanted to go back to the turtleneck era.  Forget about divorce. Forget about exes.  Forget about heartache and remember the innocent days when I didn't know what Gwen Stephani meant by, "I really feel that I'm losing my best friend.  I can't believe this could be the end."  

I glazed over the song the first time after I got the vinyl in the mail.  It was good.  It didn't blow me away, but it was good enough to give it another listen.  This time around, the song took on a whole new meaning.  I've been so slack about blogging, among other things, these last few months but when I made this connection I had to write...

I am super stoked about the upcoming opportunity I have to serve the Lord through The World Race, but I've been really struggling with my relationship with Him lately.  Sin sends me running from Him. Embarrassed.  Guilty.  Ashamed.  I try to tell Him every excuse I can think of, with "too tired" at the top of the list of reasons to not spend time with Him.  When it comes down to it though, I just assume he doesn't want anything to do with me and my sin and I turn and bolt the other direction.  The last time I listened to my new prized vinyl, I heard it from a different perspective.  Jesus' perspective...

 Don't speak
I know just what you're saying
So please stop explaining
Don't tell me cause it hurts
Don't speak
I know what you're thinking
I don't need your reasons
Don't tell me cause it hurts

 
He knows what I am going to say before I say it and what I'm thinking before I think it.  He doesn't want my explanations.  He isn't mad that I'm choosing worldly things over him.  It hurts Him.  It hurts Him because he knows how much it hurts me.  

Thank God for grace. I want to live and love through that grace daily.  No matter how many excuses we give Him, He comes to us at the end of each day with grace and says, "So hush, hush, darling...hush, hush darling'".  I'm not sure how it ended for the couple this song was written about, but I know how it ends for me...with grace, forgiveness, and unconditional love.

"Let us then with confidence draw near to the throne of grace, that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need." ~Hebrews 4:16

My Dad Always Said We Both Wouldn't Make It Through The Amazing Race Alive...

Watching "The Amazing Race" was a family affair.  Even though I've always been TERRIBLE with directions...and being on time...and not forgetting things, I always secretly hoped that if my dad really decided to try out for the show, that he would choose me as his partner.  After all, my sister wasn't so good at compromise and my brother didn't really seem to be as in to the show as the rest of us.  I thought for sure that my adventurous heart and my "easy going" nature (how jaded I was about myself!) would make me the number one choice in my dad's eyes.

Well my childhood dreams have come true!  My Father has chosen me and an amazing race it will be, but not the kind shown on television.  Not the kind with built in checkpoints where you receive your money, clues, travel and sleeping arrangements, and the freedom to choose your route for the next leg.  This is a race my heavenly Father has called me to.  A race with a chance to love, serve, pray, worship, work, disciple, give, teach, and lead.  A race to change lives.  A race to change me.  A race to know Him.  11 months. 11 countries: Honduras, Nicaragua, Costa Rica, Philippines, Thailand, Cambodia, India, Nepal, Kenya, Uganda, Rwanda.  A chance for life change.  A chance for love change.

There are so many "impossible" things that threaten to hold me back.  So many "what ifs/what abouts" from people around me.  "What about your new house?"  It'll be here.  "What about Slim Dog?"  She has always been pretty independent...she can take care of herself ;)  "What about your job?"  There will never be a shortage of struggling kiddos that need extra help.  I may not have the same job, but I trust the Lord to provide.  "What about your bills?"  What bills?  I'm selling my car, so no payments or insurance..so I'm good to go there!  "What about Jeff?"  I broke my commitment to God to pursue a relationship with him that I thought I was ready for.  I'm figuring out now, that the Lord told me to wait before (I disobeyed) and now He is telling me to wait again.  "You just received National Board Certification after all of that hard work, how could you walk away from that much money?" I'll miss out on one year of the stipend...what is one year?  All of the questions that everyone, including myself, continue to ask all make this experience sound impossible to pull off.  Impossible is just God's cup of tea.  

 God has been setting things up for this mission quite nicely.  Here is a quick rundown of the Lord's handiwork: applied and was not accepted to grad school at CIU (I would have never left in the middle of grad school), wrecked and totaled my car one payment shy of paying it off (teaching me that I should not store up my treasures on Earth) which makes selling the car I drive now to pay for the mission an absolute non issue,  National Board Certification (helps tie up some of the financial loose ends for the trip), and I'm sure there are more revelations to come over the next several months.  

God is good.  God is in control. And God has called me to meet him on an amazing race he has prepared for me.  I will lose the direction that the world sees as reasonable.  I will be late on the world's expectations of marriage, kids, career, etc.  And I will forget all that the world has taught me and focus on what He wants to teach me.  I AM the number one choice in my Father's eyes. 

Romans 5: 3-4 "Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope."

Not So Popular Perry

Perry...that was "his" name.  When I tell you who Perry is, you'll have two immediate thoughts: 1) That is gross. 2) Why on Earth would you blog about that?  Just bear with me while I explain...

Wren Matawaran

In the summer of 2011, I spent three weeks traveling through the Philippines, Thailand, and Singapore with some VERY dear friends of mine to celebrate their wedding. 

 **Side note** I recently have been blessed with this little treasure, whom I now proudly call my Goddaughter.

On this trip, I traveled.  I ate.  I got massages.  I ate some more.  I got pampered.  I ate.  I was welcomed and served by my friend's family.  Have I mentioned eating yet?  I saw creation like I have never experienced it before.  I traveled and ate some more.  I rode elephants, played with tigers, visited temples.  All the while, continuing to eat.  Here are some photos of the events described above...

Darkness to Light

You hide yourself 

deep inside my heart

To break me down 

That's where you start

Selfish, manipulative, and ugly deeds

You prey on my weaknesses

That's where you feed

Lord cure me of this sickness

Save me from this disease

This pride that fills me up inside

Father take it from me please

I want to live for you, My God

But myself gets in the way

I want to live for you, Oh Lord

Each and every day

So bury Yourself 

deep inside my heart

From me don't ever part

Replace this pride 

with love and peace

Cover my sins 

with grace that will never cease

You make yourself known every day

In every relationship you cause decay

Doubt, fear, and unbelief

You've done enough damage

caused enough grief 

Lord cure me of this sickness

Save me from this disease

Insecurity eats away at me

God save me from it please

Bury yourself deep inside my heart

From me don't ever part

Replace my insecurity

with strength and unwavering trust

Show me mercy through every trial

with a love that's true and just

I want to live for you, My God

But myself gets in the way

I want to live for you, Oh Lord

Each and every day

Insecurity and Pride are no longer for me

My truth is in You

My soul is set free 

My soul is set free

These Walls Are Built Like Jericho

These walls I've built for years and years
cemented together with hurt and with tears.
The higher they climb, the further the falls
Insecurities and fears are what make up these walls.

I've pleaded with God to take them away
to send in the troops, so that someone could stay.
I wait for the horn and the trumpet to sound
I wait for these walls to come crumbling down.

Why am I stuck here? Why can't I leave?
Why can't I read what He says, and believe.
I know He is marching outside of the gate
I just hope I find courage before it's too late.

Joshua 6:1-2 "Now Jericho was tightly shut up because of the Israelites.  No one went out and no one came in.  Then the Lord said to Joshua, "See, I have delivered Jericho into your hands, along with its kind and its fighting men."

We Walk The Plank With Our Eyes Wide Open

People make mistakes.  Sometimes people make the same mistakes more than once.  But what is the difference between a believer's mistakes and a nonbeliever's mistakes?  They don't see things the way we see them.  They use standards set by society to determine right and wrong.  Their eyes are closed to the things we have been blessed to see.  But what is our excuse?  When we sin, we can't claim ignorance.  We can't profess that we didn't know.  When we get caught up in a stronghold of sin, we walk the plank with our eyes wide open. 

I've been struggling to understand the meaning of unconditional love, or agape love, from the giving and the receiving side.  Agape love is defined as selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the Bible.  Selfless. Sacrificial. Unconditional. Wow.  As humans, as sinners, is that really possible?  Through my experiences with family, friends, and relationships I have developed a strong skepticism toward this so called "unconditional love".  Unconditional love starts with understanding God's love and then loving yourself, not in an arrogant or self-absorbed way, but in a forgiving and understanding way.  My skepticism is rooted in an ongoing battle I continue to fight with insecurity...an inability to view myself as worthy of unconditional love or capable of unconditionally loving someone else.  I have always felt, and still feel, that if I "do something wrong" or disappoint someone, that is the end.  Their feelings, ideas, perceptions, and beliefs about me have changed and will not ever be the same again.  I live in fear of disappointing people...of disappointing God.  This fear permeates my relationships and daily interactions with people.  This fear is sin.  This fear is me questioning the Truth that God promises in the Bible.  I've been walking this plank for far too long.  I'm turning away from the violent sea that has hovered beneath me for many years and seeking an understanding of love that is patient, love that is kind.  Love that does not envy or boast, and that is not proud.  Love that does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, and is not easily angered.  Love that keeps no records of wrongs...no matter the size or severity of those wrongs.  Love that does not delight in evil, but rejoices in the truth...even if the truth hurts.  Love that always protects, ALWAYS trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.  

"Many people have traveled this world with different dreams, purposes and aspirations. Many are masters, teachers, inventors and followers. They were all sent by the creator of the universe to achieve one just course; “global peace and unification.” But this course cannot be achieved without unconditional love, which possesses the magical powers of the Divine for transformation. When the human race embraces love unconditional, then the lost will be found, the naked will be clothed, the hungry will be fed, the bombs will be destroyed and there will be peace and unity which will make us all to speak one language, “LOVE”.  Let love abide  ." -Philip D. Brown