Love...Peace...Joy

Love, peace and joy are the three words I would use to describe my Christmas this year.  I was completely overwhelmed with all three...over and over again this past week.  


There were so many things to worry or be anxious about at the start of the week.  I had not done ANY Christmas shopping (and I had no idea what to get anyone).  My legs were hurting...like insanely hurting...after my 17 mile run last Saturday, so I was told to take a week off of running and just stick to the bike.  My roommate was moving out, so the money situation was looking pretty tight.  Figuring out when we were going to get together for my family's Christmas time was not going very smoothly.  I was trying to fit way too much stuff into one week.
Nevertheless, I felt calm and super excited for Christmas...which is really weird for me.  I am usually a basket case of nerves. Worried about making everyone else happy, worried that people won't like their gifts, and worried that I'll stretch myself too thin financially.  


A normal Costley Christmas looked like this: Christmas at Grandaddy and Eileen's house one night, Christmas Eve candlelight service at Saxe Gotha, Waffle House (to leave the waitress a BIG tip), a trip to the Dunbar's house so Jackson and Delaney could visit "Santa", breakfast and opening gifts on Christmas morning before Michelle, Shawn and the kids left for New York, then out to the country for Christmas dinner at Granny's.


Things changed a little after getting married, but we were always back from Iowa in time for the "routine", or we would wait and go to Iowa after Christmas.  But last year and this year were completely different.  Last year, Christmas was lonely, sad and depressing.  Jason and I were separated, my family and I were still not back on track, and I had to work Christmas Eve.  To carry on the Waffle House tradition, I still went by myself after work.  I had a waffle and a cup of coffee, left a big tip and went home...alone.  I cried...A LOT last Christmas. Things were different and I didn't like it.


This year has been a whole different story.  Not because it was "a normal Costley Christmas".  In fact, it was kind of similar to last year.  I still had to work on Christmas Eve, so my family had already opened their gifts when I saw them Christmas morning.  My sister and the kids were leaving for New York, my brother was visiting a friend's dad in the hospital and my parents were going camping at the beach, so I was flying solo for Christmas dinner at Granny's.  Still sounds kind  of lonely, huh?  But this year I didn't feel that way.  There were definitely things to celebrate.  I was able to give much bigger than I had ever expected this Christmas because of how God has blessed me financially these past few months.  My sister and cousin came to a Christmas service at NewSpring (which was AWESOME) and then we had a great "cousin reunion" night together.  I was able to spend some time...eating, shopping, and serving...with some great new friends I've made over the last several months. I am dog sitting Apollo while Jason is in Iowa, so I've gotten to spend a lot of time lovin' on the pups...they even went to wish Grandaddy a Merry Christmas at the nursing home!  I was able to spend a lot more time at Granny's on Christmas day because I had no where else to be:)  


Driving home last night from Granny's, in the dark and rain, while listening to Sanctus Real and MercyMe and reflecting on the events from the past week, I started to cry, but this year it was a good cry.  God's presence and love completely filled me.  So what made this year different from last year?  My focus was somewhere other than plans and schedules, making family happy, presents, having someone special to share Christmas with, etc.  I was truly focused on the "reason for the season", Jesus Christ, and overwhelmed by how He has changed and shaped me this year.  I feel such a deeper love and appreciation for those around me.  I feel a much greater sense of gratitude for everything and everyone in my life.  I feel a much stronger urge to serve, give, and reach out to people that are less fortunate than me.  So thank you to everyone that has been a part of my life this year.  In one way or another, you have helped me become the person I am today. Merry Christmas:)


Looking forward to big things in 2012!


"God rewrote the text of my life when I opened the book of my heart to his eyes." ~ 2 Samuel 22:25 MSG