Honestly, I have never considered myself to be selfish, self-centered, egotistical, etc. If anything, I have been a doormat for that type of person to wipe their feet on as they made their way through life on THEIR terms. The dumb part was...I was completely ok with that. I thought it made me a good person because I put other people's needs, wants and desires ahead of my own. I would "sacrifice" my happiness because seeing someone else happy was more important. I was afraid to stand up for myself. I was afraid to give my opinion (because who would actually listen to it anyway, right?). I didn't like giving people advice because I feared that if it was wrong, I would be responsible for the outcome! So if you are nodding your head in agreement thinking, "I totally get where you are coming from. I feel the same way"...um..you're a doormat. And if you are sitting there thinking that you can't understand how someone could think or feel that way...well then I hope you fall somewhere in between the two extremes and not in the "selfish" category (which you probably would never admit to anyway).
Recently, I watched a series done by Andy Stanley from NorthPoint Community Church in Atlanta, Georgia that referenced the story of John the Baptist. I had a vague idea of the story, but really started to relate to him a lot more after watching this series and reading a little more on my own in the gospels. John could have made himself comfortable in Jerusalem enjoying a portion of the offerings being brought by the people to God. Instead, he chose to head out into the wilderness, dress himself in coarse camel's hair and live off of the land, eating only locusts and wild honey. Every time he was questioned about who he was, he always answered by telling people about Jesus. He was totally and completely sold out for Christ. On a side note, check out Luke 1:39-41. John the Baptist was excited about Jesus before either of them were even born. Jesus himself said, "I tell you the truth: Among those born of women there has not risen anyone greater than John the Baptist". So Jesus was pretty impressed with John as well.
John was all about Jesus...until his circumstances changed and he was put in prison. The disciples would come visit John and tell him all of the great things that Jesus was doing, and John started to wonder, "but what about me?". He actually sent the disciples to ask Jesus, "Are you the one who was to come, or should we expect someone else?" In other words, "Yeah I know I was praising you before, but now I'm in jail and you aren't doing anything to help ME out...soooo you must not be who you say you are." Wow, John was definitely not a doormat.
Like John the Baptist, we all get stuck in our struggles, set backs and disappointments. We surround ourselves with an attitude of, "what's in it for me?". On the flip side, as doormats, we focus our attention on making everyone else around us happy and forget our place in the world altogether. Jesus had a simple answer for John, "go back and report what you hear and see: the blind receive sight, the lame walk, those who have leprosy are cured, the deaf hear, the dead are raised, and the good news is preached to the poor". Focus your eyes on Christ and the things He is doing in the world around you instead of wasting time pouting about what He is not doing for you. It wasn't about John the Baptist and if you don't know the story, well, things didn't end well for him (see Matthew 14). It's not about me and it's not about you. Ditch the doormat status. You will never be able to make some people happy. And get over yourself, you are the way you are because HE made you, not because of anything you've done on your own. After reading this story, you might look at John's life and ask, why did Jesus let him just die in prison? And my answer to that question is, so that thousands of years later I could read his story and understand that no matter what circumstances I face...God is doing amazing things...and it's about Him, not me.
Live generously, justly, and honestly today, as a mere stagehand to the main character in this drama: Jesus. ~The Message//Remix:Solo
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