Goal vs. Expectation

Goal: The purpose toward which an endeavor is directed; an objective
Expectation: An attitude of expectancy or hope; anticipation


Can these words be used interchangeably?  What's the difference?  Does an expectation contain some sense of entitlement, while a goal is just something to strive for?  Are goals something we make for ourselves and expectations things that others hold us to?  I've been struggling with these two words for the last few weeks and I haven't completely nailed down the answer for myself.  


As much as I would like to convince myself that I have no expectations for the marathon tomorrow, my head has been consistently and constantly trying to convince me otherwise.


When things were going well in the training process, it seemed like a legitimate goal was to complete the marathon with an average pace of 8 minutes 30 seconds per mile.  I didn't mind that goal because it seemed like something I could accomplish and be proud of.  After two months of crazy pain and bad run after bad run, that pace seems to be completely out of the realm of possibility.  The breakdown in my legs has moved from my shins, to my calves, to my hips and now to my head.


I am more scared of mentally breaking down than physically.  I know it will be hard.  I know I will be tired.  I know I will be in pain.  But will I be able to make it through?  I keep telling myself that finishing will be the accomplishment.  It doesn't matter how long it takes.  But every time I have that thought, the mind games begin...and doubt takes a not so comfortable spot in the forefront of my mind.


I don't like setting a goal for my self and not reaching it.  I don't like changing goals in the middle of the process because it seems like I won't meet them.  I feel like changing the goal is making an excuse for not meeting the original goal...a way to avoid failure.  I feel the need to share my goals with other people to make sure there are people holding me accountable (which is where I think they turn into expectations?) Either way, whether voiced or kept silent, goals and expectations exist and they can either make or break you.


As I write, I feel humbled because I know that my feelings of anxiety and fear come from a place of pride and not lack of ability.  I am going to choose to swallow my pride and confess that my new goal (or expectation?) for myself is to finish the race. Period.  My motivation in the beginning was, and still is, "to work toward a goal that, without Him, would seem impossible."  So today I am going to be still and tomorrow I will just keep running.


"Be still and know that I am God." ~Psalm 46:10