4:00am came very early this past Saturday. I tried not to think about the run, or the pain that I had been feeling on the entire drive down to the beach. I fumbled around in the dark trying to get dressed without waking Michelle and the kids. I was sure that in my sleepy haze I was going to forget something. I was walking out the door right on time, which is rare for me, to wait for the cab out front.
It was pretty cold outside when I got dropped off at the starting line, so I found a gas station to keep warm in until it was time to run. It was about an hour before the start and a few people trickled in and out. All I could do was stand there. I didn't want to move. I didn't want to warm up. I didn't want to stretch. I was trying to keep my mind away from anything that had to do with running. About 15 minutes before the gun, the line for the restroom began to grow and the excitement and nervous energy from everyone permeated the entire place. I still felt like I was half asleep, but I decided it would be best to jump in line for the restroom one last time.
I was standing behind two girls who looked to be a couple of years older than me and in great shape. They were talking about their training, past races and their goals for this race. I listened for a while, then let the dumbest question ever come out of my mouth. "So, you guys are ONLY doing the half today?" Insert foot into mouth. I tried to blame that comment on the fact that I hadn't had any coffee yet, but they didn't seem amused. The looks on their faces quickly reminded me where I had come from. What was I talking about, "only". I had never done any more than a half marathon before, so why was I trying to make it sound like it wasn't a big deal? I remember when running 3 miles seemed like a lot. I apologized for being an insensitive idiot and wished them both a good run, then walked away thinking, "Ok, big shot...now you've got to run 26.2 miles because running half of that would just be too easy."
Why do we do that? Why do we, once we reach a new level -whether in fitness, education, spirituality, job status, etc.-, tend to totally forget what it took to get there? And, even worse, why do we look down on those who aren't where we are...even though we used to be in that very same place?
God has really been working in me these past few weeks to remind me that, although setting and accomplishing goals is important, we should not forget what it took to get there. Physically, I have come a long way in the past few years. I've gone from running a 5k here and there to running a few 10k's, two half marathon's and now a full marathon. I went from not having ridden a bike since I was a kid to riding my bike across the state of Iowa...twice. Spiritually, I've grown from a church goer to a Christ follower who has a deep and intimate relationship with the Creator of the universe.
If I forget struggling through a 3 mile run, what makes running a marathon an accomplishment? If I forget that I once struggled to complete an undergraduate program, what makes getting a Master's degree challenging? If I forget that I once was extremely far from God and running in the opposite direction of His will, would I understand His grace as intimately as I do now?
Pay attention to those who are climbing the same ladder as you...even if they haven't quite reached the same heights. Help, encourage and pray for them. When we remember where we came from, the victories along the path to where we are going seem so much sweeter.
"There was my name up in lights. I said, 'God, somebody's made a mistake.' But there it was, in lights. And I sat there and said, 'Remember, you're not a star.' Yet there it was up in lights." ~Marilyn Monroe
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