Jesus Christ died on the cross...for me. Period. End of story, right? Wouldn't things be so much easier if everyone knew that, believed and accepted that, and saw other people as someone Christ died for, as well?
Unfortunately, we live in a society that never lets people forget when they make a mistake. People's mistakes are printed in magazines, newspapers, posted on websites, social networking sites, etc. When someone messes up, it somehow becomes everyone's business.
Like most people, I have baggage. If I were to take a trip, the amount of baggage I have would probably sustain me for quite some time. When I was younger and my family would go on vacation, my dad would load all of our luggage on top of the car and we head down the road to our destination. I always used to imagined the luggage falling off the back of the car and all of our stuff being scattered across the interstate. Did I have anything in my bags that would be embarrassing for someone else to see? Would I be able to clean everything up before anyone noticed that I had packed three Eeyore sweatshirts and fifteen different colored turtlenecks?
Getting back into the dating scene after being separated was definitely a scary place. I felt like my baggage was about to burst at the seams. Not only had I made some extremely dumb decisions through college (that would definitely require some explanation), but now I had a pending divorce to add to my resume. I tried really hard to convince myself that everything from my past was no one's business. That it did not define me and I was not the same. The past should not matter and I should not have to share it with anyone. I didn't want anyone to see what I had packed away and bound so tightly because, surely, it had no chance of spilling out on the interstate.
In the last year, I have realized the need to slowly start unpacking those bags and put away the embarrassing, shameful, disappointing and guilt-ridden mistakes I made. Rehashing some of the situations and decisions I made in the past and "reliving" my journey through being lost, saved, distant and now home has brought out a lot of emotion. I don't want to have to tell the person God has planned for me the things I've done. I don't like looking back at who I used to be. Especially knowing that, unlike God, people have a hard time letting go of past mistakes and failures. People have a hard time seeing people for where they are going. Instead, they see them for the crap they are carrying with them along the way.
God knew I would fail. God knew I would make mistakes. God knew I would disappoint someone at some point (or many points) in my life. He knew all of those things and that is why he sent his only son to this earth...for me and every mistake I have ever made that has not honored and glorified Him as my Heavenly Father. Hindsight is 20/20, but I won't let looking back take my focus off of God's plan for me in the future. Instead of focusing on what was, I will focus on what is to come. I will learn from my mistakes and then look ahead. I will allow God to build my character, mold me and shape me through trials and tribulations. I won't allow hindsight to be a hindrance by beating myself up with past mistakes. I will meet someone that sees me through Godly lenses, instead of seeing me through the eyes of the world. The debt has been paid and I am made brand new each day. So I will just unpack my bags and make myself at home in the comfort of God's amazing grace and mercy.
"Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." ~James 1:2-4
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